Thursday, July 10, 2014

The one phrase that you should never use - unless you should..........

 Mack and I went to Nashville last weekend to see our son and new daughter-in-law.  I don't remember being more excited about a trip in a long time.  We were going to spend a few days in Nashville and then head towards Kentucky for a mini-family reunion.

When we were about 30 miles outside of Nashville, our son called and asked us to head directly to a local hospital.  They had planned a huge surprise when we got to their apartment to tell us we were going to be grandparents and instead, she was in the midst of a miscarriage.  We got there, hugged our son tightly, and I headed back to the room where our precious daughter was resting.  I had no words.  My heart was breaking and I desperately wanted to say something to make it better.  I could not think of one single thing.  I learned a long time ago to NEVER, EVER say "I know how you feel" unless I really know how you feel.  It's insulting and it is dishonoring to the person walking through that hard moment.  If you do know how someone feels, or at least something closely related, you have a valuable gift to offer.  They can open their heart to you in a way that is so precious.  I have a friend who lost her 19 year old son many years ago and she makes a point to visit parents who lose children close to that age.  She is able to offer them something unique that most of us cannot - she can offer hope for the future. Hope that the day will come when they will be able to breathe again without mind-numbing pain, hope that the world really will go on.  She can do that because she has lived it.  If you haven't lived it, you can't tell about it.

We still had a good weekend and I am beyond grateful that God allowed us to be there for this weekend.  That is one of the challenges that comes from being in different states - you can't always be close enough to hold on in the physical sense.  That said, we all need to be certain our relationships are strong enough to hold on in a distance.  You never know when you are going to need to grab and hold on for dear life.  We are firmly anchored in our little family and I am looking forward to the day when we will celebrate!

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