Thursday, June 20, 2013
"As schedules shift, so must our souls. And as my soul takes a deep breath in, I remember how it could be like this all the time if I wanted it to be. Not the schedule part, but the centered part. There is a strong stillness deep within me, the place where God lives. He is not pulled in ten thousand directions and in him, neither am I.
And so we welcome June because we must, because to press on as we have been doing hurts too much.
Instead of fighting the change in schedule, I want to let summertime be my sacred companion."
I don't know about you but I have a few blogs I visit on a semi-regular basis. (in)courage is one of my favorites. It's a blog sponsored by DaySpring and has a group of amazing women that share from time to time and the great majority of them have their own blogs. The above quote is from Emily Freeman's "Chatting at the Sky" which I went to after reading her post recently on I(in)courage. Emily is a pastor's wife, mom to young children, and a wonderful young author.
Her words about shifting schedules in the summer hit home with me. Stu is 28 and living in another state and I no longer work in the school system, so I honestly can't say the summers are really that different than any other season - and yet they are. There is something about summer that begs us to slow down, to relax and enjoy life, to regroup. As I mentioned in my last post, I'm there. I'm at the part where "pressing on as we have been doing hurts too much". I am actually thankful to be here - it helps you make the decision to change, to take the deep breath, and begin to find my way back to a pace and quality of life that allow me to find the centered part of my soul.
What about you - what signals your soul that it's time?
Tuesday, June 18, 2013
I've hesitated to write lately because I want to write something fun - something upbeat, and not another post about hard days. Honestly, most days aren't that hard, they just seem overwhelming. I realized a few years back that when I am struggling, I overwhelm easily. That is my symptom that I am not in a good place. Symptoms are good things though - they allow us to recognize when we need to do something differently.
I'm almost six months into grieving losing my mom, going through that last year of anxiety and stress, and watching it all end in one great big miserable, horrific mess. Six months of living with regrets that I killed myself making sure I wouldn't have. Mind you, you can regret something even though you know that you know that you did your dead level best. God has continued to be faithful to a woman who has been anything but faithful in her daily walk with Him. I'm not talking about doing major sinning, I'm talking about not drawing closer to the One who is sufficient. I'm talking about basically not getting close to anybody or anything, but just living days that are pleasant, but not risky. I'm talking about not loving God will my whole heart.
I went home to my parent's home a few weeks back. You have to do that when all of a sudden, their home, stuffed to the gills with their lives and their memories, is now your home. What an amazing gift mom left me - pieces of her are in every corner that is filled with pretty things, jewelry, antique dishes and silver, used plastic bags, outdated canned goods, and, of course, clothes! It was healing and it allowed God a moment to assure me of His plan in all of this. It allowed my heart to begin to settle. God.is.faithful.
Now, it really is time to begin to slow down, simplify, and heal. I am looking forward to being more intentional in planning time with those who fill my bucket, and not so much with those who don't. I'm actually writing down what drawers, closets, basements, etc. are going to be organized and purged and they will be done. I am going to read again - some of those books that have been piling up and begging for my attention. I'm going to open the pages of "Sacred Rhythms" again because that book speaks to my very soul.
Finally, I am going to write and journal this part of my story and maybe, just maybe, I'm going to let those who fill my bucket read it.
His mercies are new every morning and I am claiming them!