Slowly.........

October 24 - 24 days into October. Seven days left to go.  It.went.too.fast.again.

Still, in 25 days, there has been progress in my quest to figure out what I really want, and actually need, my life to look like.  I KNOW I have to find a way to live more in the moment, to let go, to energize myself with time doing what I love, to allow others to just be, and most importantly, do all of this so I will be a much brighter light for the one who saved my soul.

I've learned so much about God's faithfulness these past few years in my hardest moments.  In those moments that break us to the core of our soul, He is there.  Period. Always.  Without fail.  Probably more amazing to me, and certainly more humbling, is His faithfulness to me now.  These are the moments where there are no real scary issues for my family, our blessings are numerous, and life is basically calm.  This is when I know He is faithful, His love is unconditional, and His grace absolutely covers me.  You see, in these months, my faithfulness to Him is lacking.  I seem to wander through the days, not settling down long enough for meaningful time and conversation with anyone, much less my Lord and Savior.  The hardest part - I can't seem to be an overcomer in this area right now.  I will vow to do better, pray for help, and then wander through the next day.

I buy books, download devotionals and podcasts, listen to podcasts, pray throughout the day at random moments, and know I am less than whole because of this lack of real, carved out time of relationship.  I need time spent reading His word, reading amazing literature that grows my faith, journaling prayers and praises, and just resting in Him.

Today is a new day though, there is time in the day to start.  Today.