Thursday, August 14, 2014

This season

2014 has been a season in my life where I am slowly becoming more aware of changes that I need to make in order to live in a way that allows me to continue to grow into the person God intended me to be.

If I am vulnerable I will own that it has not been a season for me of staying in His Word, of seeking His wisdom and plan for me on a daily basis.  It has been a season of life lived on the surface, of seeking the world's pleasures and "fixes" and of a schedule that has been full but not always satisfying.

God has been speaking volumes to me in the past month about how I choosing to spend my time and I am recognizing that there is urgent need to settle into a quieter, more focused and even secluded time.  These words from I Thessalonians 4:9-12 are in front of me even as I type this post:

"Now concerning brotherly love, you have no need for anyone to write to you, for you yourselves have been taught by God to love one another...but we urge you, brothers, to do this more and more, and to aspire to live quietly, and to mind your own affairs, and to work with your hands as we instructed you so that you may walk properly before outsiders.........."

Paul urges the church to love one another well, to live quietly, to mind their own affairs, and to work with their hands.  Those words ring true to me for this season.  It doesn't mean that I won't spend time with those who fill my bucket or who I feel God has led me to work to help fill their bucket.  Honestly, it means I may do that more because I will do other things less.  I want to work hard to mind my own affairs which also means that I MUST spend more time with God to know what affairs are truly "mine".  My precious daughter-in-law is going through some difficult times now physically and emotionally which also means my son is walking through those times.  This momma wants DESPERATELY to fix this for them and I just knew that if I could see her face-to-face that I could affect the situation.  We left Nashville about 9:30pm Tuesday evening and my heart was broken because I did not affect that situation.  I believe we brought our son some comfort just by being there but very little else.  That was hard for me.  I am a fixer and quite honestly, I am a pretty good one.  Failing at fixing is hard for me - but I am also pretty sure it isn't my affair to fix so I am praying that God will show me when I am supposed to step in and when I am supposed to live quietly and mind my own affairs.

I am actually looking forward to learning more about what this will look like in my life.  I know it is going to be a season of change as it has already begun as we made the decision to leave our current church and look for one that will better allow us to be part of a community throughout the week.  That is a big deal as we have loved the church and the people we are leaving but we have a peace that we are headed in the right direction. There are other changes and wonderful things coming - I know that.  God is faithful and He will lead in a direction that is good.  I would so appreciate your prayers that I will be still and listen as He speaks.

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